Life with Teenage Girls: Specks of Light in a Dark Tunnel


I think my daughter is trying to kill me. She nearly gave me a heart attack. Not in the normal way. Not in the “doing something dangerous” way. But in the “did this just actually happen?” kind of way. I’m still in shock.

You see, I put my oldest daughter in glee choir this year. She is always listening to music and singing, and so, I figured glee would be a good activity for her to try. When she first came home with her music in the fall, all Christmas music, I tried to help her with the music technicality portion that she wasn’t familiar with yet.

And trying to help your teenage daughter is like trying to catch a chicken. Exhausting. Annoying. Frustrating. All flapping and squawking. Feathers flying. Emotions erupt from calm to high alert. It went horrible.

She would barely sing out loud in front of me, even with the music. When I took her to the piano to practice singing a different octave, she began crying. Apparently I was putting too much pressure on her to expect her to sing and try the exercises I attempted to show her. Silly me. The whole fiasco ended with her running off to her room. The joys of teenage girls and their emotions.

After a couple more tries in the following weeks, I surrendered her to the sole custody of the glee director. Her sanity and mine were just too precious. I reminded her to practice, and that was about it. I butted out.

Fast forward 4 months. Now she is starting the spring program. She walks into the kitchen today and asked me to practice the new songs with her.

She. Asked. Me. *blink….blink*

Now you know why I said I almost had a heart attack.

“What exactly do you want me to do?” I asked.

“I just want you to sing with me.”

Aww. My heart melted just a bit. Even while I wondered if I had been transported to an alternate universe. Shock, wonder and awe all fluttered around my mommy heart.

What did I do in the past four months to make her more willing to have my input? I have no idea. And I’m no amateur. I know it’ll likely revert back to average drama status on another day, but that’s not my point.

We as parents have to dig through a lot of crap to find a speck of light. We have to force our kids to do things they don’t think they want to. We have to endure the drama, the complaints, the attitude, the fits. But then those moments happen….moments that remind you that there is progress….moments that show it is worth it….moments that bless your heart and make parenting worth it…moments that remind you this season is temporary.

Don’t be afraid to give your kids what they need, not what they want. Don’t be afraid to stand your ground against the tears and anger, stomps and tantrums. Don’t be afraid to push them even when it causes drama. And at times, don’t be afraid to give some breathing room. It may be just the ticket.

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